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Thursday, April 8, 2010
I need a place for me to release whatever emotion that's within me right now. i can't tolerate it any much longer seriously. tears are streaming down as im typing this god knows what the fuck is happening to me. stop being so weak!! i reckon it's PMS again but this time it's really really bad. my emotions are all intertwined and screwed. seriously screwed. i know pms is the main culprit but then all these emotions and thoughts are still buried deep inside me. they've been inside me for quite some time, i thought that with time they might disappear but they didnt. how do i get them off? tell me how. Why am i even feeling this way? why am i having expectations in the very first place? why do i feel that things are no longer the same as the past? am i being too demanding or have things really changed..? the stuffs and the way i do things are so not my style. i think i've really given much more compared to the past and it seems like each time i'm giving more, i'm sinking deeper and deeper there's no turning back no way to U-turn it's as if i've lost my sense of security. sometimes i just feel so insecured because of the large amount of output and emotions i'd put in this so far. im afraid seriously afraid of the same old history repeating itself, i've never been so afraid in my life ever before yet at the same time if i were to hold back i feel that i'm not giving my all, not doing what my heart really wants me to do. but don't you get it? i'm trying to prevent you from getting crushed again. and if you really get crushed this time round, i doubt i'll be able to save you much. not kidding. anyway here's something to ponder about... ... " learn to listen, but not just to her words." -" One of the best things my life partner has taught me (indirectly) is that a man needs to listen to a woman on many levels, not just her speech. By the time she has to tell you to do something you have often already missed several hints that she has been giving you. If you want to be a good husband/boyfriend you need to learn what these hints are." as a girl i can vouch that the statement is so true. no offence people, it's not meant to be directed at anybody but sometimes i seriously wished guys can be abit more _ _ _ s _ _ i _ _. ps: trust me, it's a sheer helplessness feeling when you realize that you actually don't have much control. 8:43 PM
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