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Wednesday, December 30, 2009
So tomorow im going for new year countdown at marina. before that im so gonna watch AVATAR with the usual gang just that there will be fewer people this time round, and i might not be able to tonn late with the guys but nevertheless we'll just PROCEED!! as for my Princess and the Frog wait for me ogays!!! i'll come for you real soon!! due to a poor mood currently i'll just briefly post my New Year Resolutions... .. 1) To STRETCH my patience. I need to practice practice and practice. 2) Stay positive & adopt the “ NEVER say DIE “ attitude. 3) I’ll stop worrying for small matters, especially if it’s unconstructive worrying. 4) Hit 55kg by JUNE 2010 which is slicing off 4-5kg. my god. ( yes I know I’ve been stuck at these for like 2 years already.. zzzzz) 5) To be more independent. 6) I will try to break my shell & be more loving towards my parents and loved ones. :D 7) Maybe I’ll try yoga or meditation to be more zen like. (~ inner peace~ ) 8) Learn to joke when i'm upset or angry. 9) Learn to be contented with what I have. 10) Stop being a perfectionist. ( to accept things for they are, nobody/nothing in this world is perfect ) Ps: to mr you-can- xxxx -xy- xxxxxr. Have I found you? 10:59 PM
Sunday, December 27, 2009
i should be busy making my notes for MCB actually but i'm here penning down my thoughts instead lol. so anyway yesterday there was gift exchange and i've received a cute calendar from yuan chao THANK YOU!! it's very cute!! people who turned up were zul, nesh, yuan chao and haz i'm deeply appreciative for you guys who made the effort to turn up despite some not getting the presents. i'm glad i've such "on" friends HAHAH! :) while waiting for haz yesterday me and zul walked around the forum mall more than 4 times. there was only 2- 3 levels for us to shop? and it's sooo small but all the hopes were those super high end brands like guess, diesel.. etc and there was this particular shop that didnt have a name so since we had 1 hour to waste we almost walked in to any shop that we could waste time on even if it's a few minutes. yes it's that bad man!! okay back to my story i picked up a shirt plain white shirt and it costed $399. i stared at the shirt speechless. then 1 minute later zul signal me to go over and i saw a super transparent blouse, it looked so transparent and fragile that i though if people like me wear that it'll be ruined in a couple of days and it costed $999 -- because it's made of SILK. talk about people having a machine that prints money. get 1 for me?? after which we dine at mac me had nugget while jelly had mc chicken. 1 more thing marble cheesecake from secret recipe is OHHH-my-god. the sweetness is just right not cloyingly sweet yet the rich texture of the cheese is present abundantly. WOOTS!! me like not sweet cheesecakeeeee!! :D FYI i've been having this for the whole of today & it's probably the 1st time im experiencing a real gastric pain. i'll promise to eat my food on time. please make the pain go away :( Somewhere out there if love can see us through Then we'll be together somewhere out there Out where dreams come true - from somewhere out there. 9:13 PM
Friday, December 25, 2009
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! :D though now it's christmas but this is the 1st time in my life i dont feel much excitement or happiness or love going around. :/ but nevertheless it's still the time where love fills the air i need more love to be showed upon me!! 2009's going to end in a couple of days i cant wait for a new year and new beginning new hopes i shall reserve all these resolutions and wishing till 31th december. im quite tired actually and this post is specially dedicated to my beloved yurong as promised due to her sudden christmas letter via msn so this is what i wanted to say.. .. to my beloved yurong i was quite taken aback when you send me the letter just now and to be honest you made me teared while reading the letter i am sincerely touched. why your motive is to make me cry again is it? lol! anyway like what you said i've known you since year 1 sem 2 its been 1 year++ and i'm very glad that we're still going strong. this year is definitely quite a ride for both you and me i've slowly seen you grow stronger from that "baby sister who needs to be protected" slowly maturing into someone who is more independent and a much more stronger person. but i think for this year you've seen me never like before breaking down ever so easily. i really want to thank you for staying by my side all these while when im down, lost, confused, hopeless or needed a listening ear. thanks for the many times when i needed advices and though you're younger than me 1 year apart i really can't feel much difference at times. im proud to declare that " you are a WORM in my stomach " because you really know me inside out almost 99.9% of the time. i really treasure you as my sister like friend and me loves you many many. i hope we're still able to keep this friendship going strong even after we graduate from RP. if there's anything that is troubling you make sure im the 1st person you go to just like how i go and disturb you always. :) i think i should stop here if not i'll write till 2010 if i would to list down everything. remember me love you always OGAYS!! XOXO muaaacks Xuan :D 12:13 AM
Thursday, December 24, 2009
i'm still feeling unstable please don't blame me i'm trying not to give myself more pressure i hope this "period" can be cleared but if at anytime you feel as if you've lost me or no longer understands me lookout for my actions they speak for themselves they'll explain everything for me. it's as if i've got a million things in my head right now. i'm trying to deal living with uncertainty and if you know me well enough you should know messed up i feel. i feel vexed and frustrated. my feelings are too perplexed for anyone to understand and i don't need anyone to understand either. 1:31 AM
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Eudaimonia Laced with poison it’s all in the mind, 12:58 AM
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Maybe its my PMS. maybe i just dont have the mood for these few days. it's been quite a rollercoaster ride for me i feel happy for a moment and next few days feels as if im at the bottom of the pit. sometimes i feel as if i'm too complicated to be understood, sometimes i feel as if im being unreasonable and sometimes i just feel that im not cut out for love at all. there's just so many thoughts running through my head & i think i evaluate and i reflect upon those factors next would be me asking myself those few questions, and most of the time im unable to answer them and if i say i feel secured then i'll be lying through my teeth. goddamnit why do i feel this way? a number of times i felt that this is not a easy path if i would really to carry on. it seems to be filled with so many numerous obstacles and there's more to come i believe. can things really be simplified or is it just me complicating's up? on another hand i've yet to write my new year resolutions. there's so many to be written down. i plan to reorganize all my personal believes, attitudes, thinking and values. i guess i'll start writting and listing them down tomorrow. it's high time that we all learn to grow up. it feels as if i'm walking on the plank. it's shaky and there's doubt with each step i take. and if you could ever understand, hold my hand and walk the rest of the journey with me. 8:53 PM
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
So today i met up with W34F ppl of year 1 semester 1 it's been such a long delay and only Irene, yanlin, doris, ying hui and muqsit came the rest couldnt make it. but oh well at least we gathered right? lol! basically we slacked at starbucks and we had a free drink because our dear doris accidently took the wrong drink HAHAH! so blur yet so cute. we talked updated each other not to mention there was juicy gossips. after which yanlin and yinghui left earlier, and we went to shop i bought myself a turquoise top and it's only 30 bucks reasonably cheap me LOVES!! :) it was love at 1st sight i only took 15 minutes to consider and trying it on. a round of applause for me please im getting faster at hesitating. hahaha!! after which we went to PS and i didnt buy the checked shirt because the feel isnt strong enough for me to buy thus we headed towards prinsep street for beancurd and portugese egg tarts!!! it was heavenly because our poor feet got to rest and with the nice soya bean drink + snacks = so blissful. it was nice that even after so long we're still able to be so close as ever during the small talks, though everyone's seperated and in different diplomas. and in the end me hambit and doris went back via train and it was story sharing session about relationship. after hearing them i'm quite positive that a relationship is not easy to maintain let alone their's was long r/s of 3 to 4 years, definitely not easy lots of conflicts and problems but they're still going strong so im quite happy for them. hahaha so keep it up guys!! was a fruitful meeting up so me looking forward for more gatherings for W34F peeps. :)     I MISS you GUYS a whole lot W34F people. 9:37 PM
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Hokay!! so JELLY if ure reading this post remember now HOKAY is mine. you should know what's yours? AHAHAHA! anyway today i met up with haz sayang to Ion to shop for Xmas pressies. and my god i took a bloody long time to choose the shirt trust me i know i tend to be quite fussy and particular about the details (stitching) high standards? kind of i think. hahah im a virgo aka perfectionist. so sorry jelly for making u walk and walk and walk around like a mad women. we had BK and i want to get that dorothy perkins checked shirt!! if size 12 isnt too big i'll get it tomorrow at plaza sing, by the way my jelly looked super sweet in the white flowery dress thanks to my great taste hohoho i cant wait to get my shirt!! and oh yes she looked absolutely stunning in the semi transparent flowery dress from topshop * my jaw dropped action * & i eyed on my kimono semi transparent from levis but it was 89 bucks OMG where to get that kind of money. i still have my wallet from Accessories which was around 70 bucks. sigh. maybe i'll go rob a bank or something or maybe if i pray hard enough money will drop from the sky just for me. AHAHAH!! maybe, maybe in my dreams. and mark's and spencer's Iris powder i also calling out for me too actually. but in the end in i only bought my cute little ball/ super round egg while haz bought her CHINA BLUE body cream shower. me: *exclaims loudly* " Oh my godd look haz look at this so cuteeee!! " haz: * looks at the bunch of round egg then looked at me * " ... err what's so cute about it? " me : " .... because it's so ROUND? " * we burst into laughter * so i bought 1 instead of 2 because it will look abit u know funny when the time comes. i hope 23rd will be a sunny day for picnic and 25th everybody will be happy with all the pressies they received. :) i know i've changed and i think i know why. so tell me since when did i became so weak. 10:54 PM
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Finally after such a long time sammie and me managed to go jog together but due to contractions and medical sickness. we only ran 4 laps. but it was good effort!! we shall start jogging constantly soon because i realized my cheeks have a hint of rosyness after the jog. my natural blusher!! soo cool right HAHAHAHA dont be too jealous okay? :D anyway after that sam and me went cathay to eat nihon mura sushi buffet and i have to say that the sight of sushi makes me feel like puking now. we ordered so much that we almost stuffed ourselves to death it was food overload. sheer madness i really felt so sick until i felt like vomitting while i was chewing on the scallop and there was still 3 handrolls, 1 fried ebi, 3 takoyaki balls left. at that point of time i just wished pigeons could appear and clear ever single grain of rice that was on the table. and finally we managed to top it off with a scoop of vanilla ice scream. yummy! so after which we went to ION and went shopping, there was quite a stores we went to, springfield, pull & bear, topman, uniquolo and 1 japanese shop. we walked for like 8 hours sam's my shopping partner simply because... she can stand the way i shop. wanted to get a boyfriend checked shirt but in the end i didnt get but i eyed on the pull & bear shirt. size 10. HOHO! maybe i'll get it next week and i need opague stockings! i'm currently hooked to " Officially missing you " all thanks to sammie. lol! i saw her and everything about you flooded back to me. but this time round.. im sorry it's NOT about you anymore. 11:22 PM
Saturday, December 5, 2009
La Vie En Rose - Louis Armstrong Hold me close and hold me fast the magic spell you cast this is la vie en rose when you kiss me heaven sighs and tho I close my eyes I see La vie en rose. When you press me to your heart I'm in a world apart a world where roses bloom and when you speak, angels sing from above everyday words seem to turn into love songs give your heart and soul to me and life will always be La vie en rose. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtQuxyByUMk&feature=related ( the songg) GO LISTEN!! 8:17 PM
Thursday, December 3, 2009
i know there are many obstacles out there, and im trying my best. but it seems like it's not as easy as i'd thought or make it out to be. maybe i was too naive. anyway. i feel like a complete asshole right now. " it's this, it's that, it's this, it's that, it no longer is what i think it is anymore. " 9:41 PM
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. i didnt manage to sleep properly yesterday night due to XXX reason. i have a feeling that im scaring myself actually, i dont know!! probably i guess because we were talking about paranormal stories with jun and mei chin while doing our ppt yesterday. i think i had a bit too much of that then i couldnt sleep at night. my imagination went WILD. i totally lost control of my mind. it was so freaking RETARDED!!! me was extremely tired mentally and physically and somehow halfway through my sleep i kept jerking myself up it was so sudden and 1st time it happened to my arm, then my legs and the last time i forgot which part of the body i jerked. i swear i thought something was happening then again my powderful imagination might be making me paranoid. and in the end i'd to ask my mama to sleep together with me because sis went for chalet and wont be back till thusday. ohmygod. so embarassing right? * frowns hard * but at least i felt more secured. just now i told mother and she said that she also experienced jerking herself up from sleep. THANK GOD!! i felt so very the relieved the moment she said that. so let's hope tonight i can sleep in peace. Ps: to my stupid mind "stop being so active and shut down when im trying to rest you IDIOT " 2:04 PM
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