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Saturday, October 23, 2010
For now everything seems to be sunshine and rainbow surrounding me, mood is good all because me and love managed to talk things though after last week's big disagreement/ disaster. and i almost thought i'd lost it, i thought we'd lost it. and what scares me most is that somehow deep inside me there's this lurking feeling that bodes negative feeling. it's so unmistakeably familiar because that's the doubt that i'd always have buried deep inside me - can our so called love last? will we crumble under the immense pressure of all the things against us and most importantly can we tolerate one another character, have the heart of an angle to be patient with one another when the going gets tough and get along with each other? but anyways we managed to talk things out and promised to settle the problems using SOLUTIONS that we both agreed on :D i really hope that you meant what you say and prove it through action dearest pencil eraser loves you very much ♥ ♥ ♥ on a side note the purpose of me writting this post is to remind myself that I'm officially on a diet thus i won't be touching any of the food listed below.. 1) FRIED OR OILY FOOD 2) REDUCE starchy food and switch to complex carbohydrates ( wholemeal bread/grains ) 3) Switch sugary drinks - plain water and to add on i will be on my way to become a semi vegetarian. in other words consume more fruits and vegetables during meals! to my dear friends especially ahrong and momo if you guys happen to read this please, help me to stick to this diet for 2 weeks at least. I MUST PERSEVERE ON!!!!! FIGHTING!! :) 12:21 PM
Sunday, October 17, 2010
" Sometimes when we quarrel with our loved ones it's not really about the issue that we're unhappy with, it is more of whether or not we still want to continue to stay on and fight for the survival of this relationship or to let it go. " 3:07 PM
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Secrets We all have one to hide. it's something that we keep it to ourselves, that we can't divulge due to the circumstances we're facing. human beings will always be human beings, no matter how much we say or promise to be truthful to the other party we will still in the end keep certain matters or issues to ourselves in fear of it being the "taboo" topic. insecurity is one of the many reasons, lack of understanding from the other party after a certain topic has already been brought up before but only to face with the same situation or even fear of genuine acceptance from the other party. if only we all are able to really open ourselves up and accept whatever that comes in our way, but will we ever be able to? can we do so and most importantly are we willing to do so from the bottom of our hearts? till all my sleeves are stained red from all the repeated truth that i've said are you really listening? stagnant water will only remain the same that gives birth to new secrets each day when will i ever be able to give them all away? any idea how much it hurts for me when i realized they're not real nor was the promise genuine. when i realize that it just doesn't happen how insecure i feel and how much it kills me deep inside, when you speak of assurance through promise but it just don't deliver through? well, now you know. i just hope it's not too late. 10:54 PM
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
i didnt know it could be so painful just by the thought about it, i can't imagine what's going to happen if my worst nightmare came true. i want us to last forever, i can't imagine if we can't. i'm trying hard, maybe a little too hard. ps: i've the power to become goldfish/goldie or pufferfish tomorrow. 10:14 PM
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Past 2 weeks have been a living hell for me and my FYP team. the amount of time that we spent in the lab is deemed as 1 whole day affair with the lab. we can start like 9am all the way till 7.30pm all the way, if there was a lunch break then it's a bonus for us. and we do that EVERYDAY continuously for 2 weeks. well close to that. and beside handing the insane FYP there was a need to do result compilation and understanding the insane amount of data in freakin excel sheet. to put it simply.. me and excell = WORLD WAR 3. i don't know why but i've been feeling kind of lifeless of late, its as if i've lost the zest in life and i'm just going through the motions.. there's so many things i want to do but seems like each time i'm just giving myself some stupid excuse to not to do it. since when have i become so complacent? where's the discipline i used to have? studywise, i'm faced with situations that sometimes i rather not face, the feeling of being belittled don't feel that good. or maybe it's just me but seriously, i should do something about it, it's time for a change; a different mindset my dear girl. i need a chance a inspiration to break free from all these bullshit. anyway having said that i've been really exhausted and stressed of late, pms appearing but the god damned totm still hasn't arrived yet. special day will be in 3 days time and i really thankgod i struggled like a mad women who escaped from IMH earlier with the help of ** **n* . i love you so much dearest! :D i just hope that everything will go smoothly, don't really have much plans :/ but my effort can be seen clearly when the day comes. am keeping my fingers crossed. 8:45 PM
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