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Monday, September 28, 2009
Much as i want to be brave, i really want to turn the page Go to a brand new start where im able to leave my past far apart. Each time I take a step wondering off they come back to haunt me The insecurities doubting and reminding me how easily the past is able to re-start. Internal conflict arises between the heart and mind. in the end who will you let to lead when both are already intertwine? What are emotions? How do you define love? It should not get so complicated at all. After all it’s love we’re looking for. Ambivalent kills
11:39 PM
It really gets so depressing when you get sick and never seems to recover. i went to the doctor just now. it's already the 3rd visit for this month. so during this 1 month of holiday 3/4 of the time i was sick. very pathetic? tell me about it. zzzz. actually i was able to recover after the 2nd week blame it on me getting tempted by the stupid evil purple pulp. yes im refering to the stupid yam ice cream. if it could ever come alive i'll freaking SCREAM at it so loud until it goes DEAF!!! anyway this time round there's 4 type of medication, thank god it's not throat infection again so no antibiotic but i've nose and cough tablet, cough syrup, and anti-flam lozenges. cough and lozenges are blackcurrant flavoured so it's not so bad. at least i wont sulk while sucking it. wed's raya visiting!! i can't wait!! i must nurse myself to at least 60% health if possible. sigh. sick means no curry mutton/chicken because it'll definitely worsen my cough, my cough's already bad enough now. and no soft drinks only plain water for me. no cookies too :( how much worst can this get? on a side note, i wanna watch phobia2. 6:52 PM
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Once upon a time there lived a yam flavoured ice cream, his name was yammy. he was lonely and made friends with a girl. the girl ate 1 scoop of him and started coughing afterwards. the next day she died of coughing. moral of story : dont touch ice cream when you have not recovered from your cough. ps: FUCK my retarded stubborn cough. you're bringing my old illness back you bitch. 1:31 AM
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Hokay. guitar lesson today at zul's house and thanks to azmi so my pressure of going his house was divided by 2. but still there was tension just that i curbed it within me. i learned the basic chords today and i INSIST on playing the 'chalet song' (which god knows when i can play) and the whole 6 strings on guitar not just the bass. i realized that my fingers's are really quite short when compared to zul's. 1 level higher. so demoralizing for me. i know short fingers cannot play alot of songs. and it's going to be quite difficult. but im still going ahead anyway. :) thanks to zul for teaching and being patience with me. HAHAHAH! after which went cityhall and bought zul's mp3 and dined at seoul garden and i ate and ate and ate like there's no tomorrow. worst thing was i ate 1 full scoop of yam ice cream. this saturday im so going to jog man. but my cough's back from the stupid ice cream. zzzzzz. i so wanna learn two is better than one. 11:10 PM
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Piano theory lesson was quite sombre and nerve wrecking for me due to miss ho current situation. i was being lashed at for quite a few times. zzzzz. in the very first place my theory sucked + her being emotional and unstable im better off dying i think. anyway i pray for her to get her strength and wisdom back to face and solve this crisis even though she's quite mean to me today. after which went shopping with sky at bugis bought a top, shoes and bag. for 70 buck and im feeling the pinch now. i'm definitely going for jog this saturday. fat's killing time. bumped into marcus halfway through the traffic junction and 5 mins later i saw samantha so i quicken my steps and and grabbed her hand from behind as i wanted to confirm with her the choreo for monday's dance solo and formation. sam: * tries to ignore me * me: * shows my face from behind her * we: bursts into laughter on the spot. sam: " WTH! i though you are some kind mad aunty trying to steal my stuff " me: ... totally speechless 11:20 PM
Sunday, September 20, 2009
uncertain. dont ask why, when or how because i don't know. but i guess im starting to.. . 10:44 PM
why did i suddenly have the thought running through my head just now? 12:57 AM
Friday, September 18, 2009
Okay!! im finally back i shall update things which happened on my birthday. firstly i want to praise ahrong for being able to successfully bluff me into saying that she has family matters for a few days and only able to celebrate with me on thurs. fancy making me worried for a few days in vain!! in short sumin, dom and cheenyee suprised me from behind when i was with yurong at pasta mania. i almost really though they couldnt celebrate with me only me and yurong hahah!! seriously U GUYS ROCKS LAAAA!! :D after lunch we went for movies and i was told that they bought G force instead of The ugly truth which i so wana watch. to be honest i got abit disappointed when i went inside the cinema but G force was not too bad also because i wanted to watch it but didnt managed to do so. and so i waited for the hamster to pop out of the screen. i WAS concentrating. but i found it puzzling how come so many couples came inside snuggling and all then the show started... .. at first i saw the man and women sign drifting in the middle of the screen and i found it familar then only did i realized that the show was THE UGLY TRUTH!! HAHAHAH! my god! seriously that really got me man! i was pleasantly suprised :) all in all i want to thank my dearest yurong for planning this whole celebration and for your cookie too!! not forgetting cheeyee sumin and dom for the treat, cards and gifts! i really appreciate it!! and not forgetting to all those who send/gave me gifts especially hand made gifts or gifts which requires alot of effort and all of you guys well wishes. :D i I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!! MUACKZ!! :) Night was with parents korean crusine i ate till i was super BLOATED! thank you daddy, mummy and sister! :D below are some pictures which i took + me = camwhored! please bear with me for a while. its been so long since i cam whored solo!! AHAHAHHAHA! :D               fine fine fineeee i admit. 1 hour before that, while i was preparing my hair and makeup to meet my rongrong at lot 1. i was actually doing these... ..TSK! dont laugh im a girl also okay! its been so long since i cam whored with myself retardedly.      My favourite pose!! this is the first time i actually like myself looking WHITE/FAIR. 11:46 PM
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Just visited my doctor for the 2nd time in 1 week. and my prediction was right he gave me a different type of antibiotics. again. this time round there's slight nose infection. from throat to nose infection. new cough's syrup because i coughed till my sore throat came back it's the 3rd bottle by the way. new tablets for the evil phlegm of mine. i hope you'll just dissolve and die. stronger dosage of noseblock tablets. hopefully i can breathe easily at night without using my mouth anymore. what i found it abit retarded was the way my doc commented.. .. He: " wow, it seems like you've lost weight huh? " my thought bubble : " .... im sick for like 1 week already. today's medication's going to make it 2. WTH!! am i suppose to gain weight from all the drugs? "  just look at the amount of medication X 2 weeks
this's the amount im required to take each time. Twice a day. seems like i can only resume jogging next week. it's already been 3 weeks plus since i jogged. i guess i won't have the mood to celebrate on thursday. maybe i'll stay at home and rest. if there's anything that's able to cheer me up from the extended medication it would be the new cough syrup. it has a peachy apricot flavour which i like. seldom do medicine taste so nice. as for the stupid pills they are bitterly EVIL. 1:36 PM
the cough's back, my throat hurts once again. currently my voice is sexy and manly. tomorrow im visiting the doctor 2nd time for the same sickness. HOW GREAT!! 12:27 AM
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Finally everything's cleared. im so relieved seriously. thus im using this BRIGHT COLOUR!! so Pam if by any chance you're reading this post i just want to say im sorry if i behaved childishly before this clear up. but you're at fault too so we're both even. :D it was nice hearing your voice once again after so so so long i really miss you so damn freaking much. really miss those days where we sticked together for 24/7 which's something similar to superglue. just hope that we won't lose contact and remember friday chatting sessions at 10. takecare and all the best in your studies. i love you so much and i know you love me too!! HAHAHA! :) Only time can tell if it's just infatuation or if it's love - pam & me. 12:40 AM
Thursday, September 10, 2009
yesterday night was hell for me. each time i swallowed saliva fresh spam of excruciating pain hits me i felt hot and cold at the same time. went to doctor just now and im diagnosed with all these wonderful diseases: bad throat infection, fever, flu and im aching all over. its been 38.4 degree celcius for the past 2 hour and it doesnt want to come down. im burning inside out. people reading this post please drink more water and takecare. 6:55 PM
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Matters of the past have been drifting in and out for the last few days. my emotions they are not stable at all.. I tried questioning myself and realized the more i rushed for an answer the more it’s not working. I really don’t wish to send mixed signals. In all, i just don’t fucking want to be the same as that pathetic idiot. i feel so useless all of a sudden. 10:50 PM
Monday, September 7, 2009
i know i shld be in bed by now. but i dont want the feeling of staring into empty ceilling trying so hard to sleep again. it sucks. if i was right in the past, then it makes no sense to me now. things which i once was sure seems so unclear. is this a waver? 1:43 AM
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Yesterday night was so very HORRIBLE. i had insomnia from 12 to like 4 plus. i broke my old record of tossing in bed now it has been upgraded to: 4hrs. to all insomnia suffers out there, i feel you man. i was literally tossing and turning throughout the remedy that usually soothes me to sleep didnt work too. thoughts just kept flooding my mind, questions without answers kept reappearing just when i brushed them away. i was mentally drained out but i couldnt find peace to sleep. then 4am came mom's fever went up again and i'd to wake up every 1/2 hr interval to check on her if the medications working on her. finally when it was 6+ i knocked out flat. slept till 1pm and then lunched abit and off i went to JOG!! im so proud of myself because i defeated the lazy monster heehee! 2.4km today with sky its been 3 whole weeks since we jogged zzz shall hit 3.2 this week. :) i did a personality test!! and the results are beelow. - A kind of person you will be attracted to in a real life situation is obedient and warm. ( hmm not really. i need someone who's not so serious as me. but has his side of serious too please haha ) - In the process of courtship, the approach that makes you feel irresistible is being patient. Never giving up on you is important. ( hahha yes totally agree ) - The impression you'd like to give to your lover is optimistic. :) -One reason that would make you break up with your partner is his or her being ruthless, cold-blooded or ironic. -The kind of relationship you'd like to build with your partner is a relationship that makes you always feel warm and in love. ( hahaha!!) -Would you commit adultery? Society and morality worry you. You wouldn't do anything wrong after marriage. -About marriage, you think marriage is a precious thing. Once you get married, you'll treasure your partner very much. ( of course! ) -About love, at this moment, you always thirst for love. You will do anything for it, but you don't fall in love easily. ( hohoho ya kind of ) 9:19 PM
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Ranting mode : On Actually im quite drained out now from all the hooha. reached RP for enzyme workshop after piano and realized that we 4 hours lab session today is not 3CE points. its just 1. yes 1 freaking point. ZZZZ. seriously when i heard the faci saying that i nearly fainted on the spot. headache attack came on me i wasn't enjoying the session at all!!! to make matters worst 2 bitchy girls activated my moodswing & set my blood pressure flying up. i didnt like them the moment they came in the lab what's with the staring? raging unbalanced hormones? ya you bet. come on 3rd year dont necessary means much more superior than us please. quit showing me ur snobbish, stuckup attitute if not i'll fucking shove my shoe into your mouths. after lab ended i finally pop panadol the pain was so intense till i felt like vomitting. again. instead of training to cck we took cab straight to lot 1 i couldnt walk properly and yurong said my face was bloodless. somehow i think my body seems to weaken quite abit recently i sure hope its because of "best friend" and not due to poly life. and anyway after having peanut soup i felt better and went straight home to rush for pressie. its been quite a while since i dirtied my hands with paint, getting real messy and arguing childishly. this was what happened... .. while me and yurong were busy doing our own parts.. yurong: * painting alphabets with cotton wool * me: * outlining and cutting printed photos * me: ehh u do like fun ar, mine only cutting and drawing sia. yurong : hahah, ya can later u help me la. u do finish yours first. * 15 mins later i was still cutting paper and tracing the outline * me: EHHH. not fair sia so long already i still haven get a chance to paint, only cut cut cut. yurong: hahahah!! k la go and paint la, tsktsk behaving like small kid like that sia you. me : * rushes off happily to mix my own colour to paint with hands * below are some picture that i took in the midst of the process.     these are the paintings i was talking about. HAHAH!
messy??
YES PLEASE! :D final product will be done by tomorrow. Weee. 9:19 PM
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Chocolates are the best remedy for me these few days. especially cabury's dark forest *loves* tomorrow's sheer madness. just take a look at this my schedule for tomorrow that is. 7am- wake up prepare to travel to redhill for lesson!! 9am- intensive theory lesson till 11.30 (trust me. by that time im already brain dead) * rushes off to woodlands station to meet yurong 12.15 * 1pm to 4pm- CE enzyme workshop at RP 4 hours non stop. (btw its lab. omfggg) * rushes off to popular to get materials for agnes birthday* 5pm to 8pm- me working with with yurong at my house (basically its pure Art's & Craft lesson) see what i mean? oh well, lets pray tomorrow i'll have enough ATP to sustain me throughout the dayyyy. excuse me, 1 vanilla latte Grande please? :D 10:51 PM
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