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Saturday, February 27, 2010
I'll be flying off to cambodia next tuesday early morning at 6am and have to report to terminal 1 at 3.45am sharp. yes it will be so freaking early. i'm still not done with the luggage have been packing for the last 2-3 days and still packing, god why it takes so long to pack seems like forever. i'll have to get this done BY today sunday's packed and monday there's FYP meeting at SMU conference hall at early evening. guess i won't be sleeping much maybe i'll save it for the 4 hours plane flight. this is something that i'm experencing for the 2nd time and it's the 1st time i'm bursting it out because i really HATE and no longer can bottle this up inside me any longer. sometimes i really wonder what other people's impression of me is at the very 1st time. i know i look decent and nice infront of most people's eyes. but deep down inside there's another side of me that bites when i get really really pissed off when provoked. and when that happens i won't be the same nice girl you'd always thought i'd been. seriously this is not a threat or whatsoever and i'm not trying to seek attention. take it in way that it's a form of warning shall we? as you know girls are sensitive creatures but i'm much much more extremely *censored* sensitive. 12:11 PM
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Today we went for our 1st FYP meeting at school. and i must say that i'm all ready and super charged + motivated to start doing the maggot project. ask me why ask me whyyyy? because of the great opportunities awaiting for us IF we're really going to make it and it seems like carl the supervisor for my team seems to be very pleased with all of us and am expecting good work quality from us. ohmygod or what I'M SUPER EXCITEDDDD :D but i know that it's not going to easy and tonnes of hardwork, bloodsweat and even tears is going to be sacrificed. still, somehow i've a feeling that my team will do a great job it came from my gut. maybe it's the prospects and medical career route and publicity that it'll open up "pathways" for us IF we're able to do a good job and our name will get recognition so I really really hope that all of us can work hard together and make this possible. :) i just hope that i'm able to juggle my theory exam and FYP at the same time. just try your best alright peixuan!! GOGOGO!! 9:05 PM
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
sometimes those questions in my mind often play the peek-a-boo game with me. maybe the time is not right yet so the waiting game is to be played. the amount of considerations i put in, overwhelms me at times. 5:39 PM
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Felt like Death Blood test is seriously a killer for me. i faced my worst fears just now and almost passed out after the test but still i conquered it! a round of applause for me pleasee? :) today the doctor was another guy not the original mean fierce looking one, he was more gentle looking and caring but still when i stepped in the room my body was already tensed up zzz. i knew from eye contact he could sense that i was very extremely tensed so after locating my vein he went into action and tried to have a conversation with me when he pierced the needle into my vein. but my god this is my phobia we're talking about of course i was concentrating on the pain of the needle than carrying on the conversation. i tried to control myself after letting out a weak wince rather embarassing? *shakes head * after which everything was over i went out and sat down then i felt the same " blacking out " sensation i'd when i slipped and fell after getting intoxicated. i felt heavy and surroundings were getting dimmer and i panicked and it only got worst i tried leaning against the wall to gain clarity and i realized that i couldn't see anything at all everything was so dark.so after 10 mins of resting at the clinic i was able to regain some composure and slowly walked out of the clinic the nurse looked worried so was my mom. but as soon as i went out of the clinic i couldn't continue walking the blindness came back again and i was leaning on the glass panel to balance myself trust me it really felt as if i was dying. my mom was trying to calm me down by talking so much at 1 go it didnt help much, i seriously couldn't hear her talking clearly this time round was like cotton stuffed into them nor was i able to see her very well everything was so dark my fuzzy vision was only 15% left and i felt so weak and the worst thing was when i tried to take in deep breaths i realized that i couldnt feel anything much. so i went to the nearest toilet to rest and THANK GOD seriously i was back to normal after perspiring out cold sweat. my visions came back everything was back. mom said that i was a super scary cat but i still think that i was a very brave girl for today. 9:29 PM
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Ubin's trip will be down due to my sickness. Sad news but oh well what can i say? i've been feeling rather down and moody and it's only normal to feel this way i guess, so people if you're reading this post please shower me with a little bit more TLC pleaseeee, i need them. not kidding. :( lately ive been giving my poor brain quite abit of stress i'm sorry owner will treat you nicer alright, i know i'm a emotional creature and very sensitive also but sometimes when faced with certain things i really don't know if it's just me being overly sensitive or have things really changed? i know things are going smoothly and slowly getting better bit by bit, but it's that gnawing feeling that i have when i see that things are no longer the same. maybe i'm too sensitive but i do feel that sometimes somehow there seems to be periods of "silence" in between the conversations like " idk how to continue on " that kinda feeling and sometimes there's a tinge of coldness in between. SIGH. maybe it's just me. i sure hope it's only me reading too much into it. it sucks to be sick. seriously. it feels like deja vu. ps: shower me with lots of TLC please? 10:24 PM
" Building a relationship " slowly i gathered those helium balloons together all of them are different individual colors as i panicked i let it go sent all of them flying up into the air. 11:16 AM
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Happy New Year everyone!! woke up super early today to help out and all, serving irritating guests is seriously not a easy job i must say, you need to clench your teeth and continue to smile as if everything's okay even though their children are the incarnation of monkey. they go running around the house making noises touching whatever they can get their hands on without asking and the best thing is that their parents wont give a hoot about it. it's as if the parents think it's absolutely okay for their kids to do so. i mean come on HELLO! have some respect for the hosts please? Zzzz Anyway today was a tiring day and i'd a headache by evening super big headache. but this Valentines days isn't too lonely for me, i received a surprise from SB which i kind of expected but still it was very sweeeet for the gift and effort to come all the way to my house below to deliver. Aww thank you so much and of course not forgetting my beloved ahrong who was together with him in the plan saying that she was waiting for me downstairs. HAHAHA thank you dareling i appreciate it alot!! :) below are the pictures.. ..      i always wanted to eat ROYCE chocolates but didn't have the chance to do so but this time round i'm able to. like finally and it's really good :D though i predicted it to happen but still it was really sweet. thank you for everything SB. :)) i was wondering just now, wonder if you wondered about it too? 10:05 PM
Friday, February 12, 2010
Immunisation was today and it didn't sucked as much as i though it would 2 jabs but next week will be the blood test and needles will be inserted into my vein HOLY SHIT. please pray hard for me that i won't cry :( because i've a phobia of needles entering my vein. anyway today i went to collect my shoes at 313 sommerset, haz accompanied me then after which her ahem( mr complicated ) came and then i felt abit of a lightbulb? HAHAHAHA kidding sayang thank god after which Mr Z came and accompany me to get my shoes and off we went no longer feel like a burden to haz and mr ahem anymore. HOHOHO then after which we went seoul garden to dinner and something happened which i wont tell, shalalala to protect the privacy of the incident, but next time remember to bring XXXXX XXXX okay. :D and to my sayang, thanks a lot alot for the post for me( part of it) i was laughing like mad when i saw the part dedicatedt to me, i hope he really get what i hint in the future HAHAH. PS: i'll invent a pill for guys to know what girls are not saying verbally, so that hints can get detected at the speed of light. 11:07 PM
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Six. The agreement that both of us made I'll fulfil my promises to you I know that you've been waiting for a long time And this time round it's really due Here I am once again An escaped tear rolled down my cheek A sign of defeat, a reflection being weak Creeping thoughts in the dead of night Death promised her that he'll never let her cry Strings of the lone cello wept as sorrowful chords filled the air Trying too hard often pushes you deeper into despair Sweet smell of fresh blood fills the air As they gushes out from the tainted vein that i have Very soon i'll learn to stop gasping for air That's when i finally meet you there I did fulfil my promises to you. 8:07 PM
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Kay so now i have 2 news to announce. 1 good and 1 bad. which do you guys prefer to hear 1st? * listens intently * Okay i heard the answer so the bad news is that : I failed my piano theory exam by 3 marks. But oh well it's alright i've come to terms with it, the results is already out there's nothing i can do much about it. like what they say we can CHOOSE our response with the current situation. I believe i'll do better this time! :) So for the good news is that i've successfully learn HOW TO CYCLE!! I attended haz, zul and azmi's boot camp yesterday and today. and finally i managed to learn how to cycle. yesterday was tough job for haz and azmi i swear to god. my beloved jelly tried her best to hold on and guide me i felt so touched man seriously. but i was still unable to balance nor was i able to pedal you all should have seen my face i even threw tantrum at the last part. zzzzz. Then today i skipped class with gang and sharmila. beginning was sucky i topple over and over again, then i could pedal and balance for 5 steps and off i went falling down. then while they were resting i tried cycling on my own at that point of time i felt like a piece of rubbish man. RUBBISH. then came the miracle. zul came and guided me which i thought would be useless also i was feeling dejected man please. But surprisingly i was able to pedal and balance after he held on to me and bike for balance. I kept screaming like a mad girl when he let go of me and but then finally after 30 mins.. i did it. i couldnt believe it myself either when i cycle my 1st distance. it felt SO GOOD!! i can finally cycle by myself under his guidance WOOTS!! Just want to say a big big THANK YOU to haz azmi and especially zul who managed to make me cycle despite me being a slowpoke and scarycat. HAHAHA! thank you all so much!! Ps: Don't ask why. but i felt safe somehow :) 10:31 PM
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