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Wednesday, March 12, 2008
If I were to say today isn't the worst day of my life then I MUST BE LYING. It all started when dad out of he blue said that he wanted to make a trip down to RP tomorrow to settle the enrollment thing. Thing is, I still have yet to prepare my relevant documents such as photocopied result slip..etc etc even the most crucial step which was the payment was left undone. I admit it was in the wrong, partly. BUT I was not given any notice on when we were going down isn't it? WTF. As usual long lectured was present when he flared up harsh words also flew out of the mouth like nobody's business. It was as if a madman was on a rage. From past experiences the only thing I could do is to try and shut up & hope that it will end fast. Because talking back to him when he's pissed will only make matters worse. No matter how I try to defend myself whether it is right or wrong makes no difference at all for all I know ever since from young. Honesty speaking I find the way he deals with problems when he's upset is just so not right. Maybe one day I should ask him to go and take up some anger management classes..? It would be good for his health, mentally and physically. I'm not kidding. It's only humane to make mistakes, after all its humans we're talking about not ROBOTS for fucking sake. Is there really a need to go this far..? You know what you've said just now.. those sentences that came from you, they're a big big mistake, it really hurt me. Whenever things like this happens I try to cover up and forget about it as soon as I'm able to get over it. But the thing is I'm somehow able to remember every single incident, including words which really really should not be said without serious consideration I have them all stored inside me. Every single one of them. Don't ask why because I myself don't have the answer. Much as I like to approach him regarding about this or anything that matters I have this strong feeling that it would be easier talking to him through mum instead. Not that I want to blame it on anyone, but it seems like he flare up too easily and I've been through all these nonsense from a very young age. So how can anyone expect me to go approach him after I've gone through bad experiences all my life? Is this even justifiable? Sometimes I just wished that he could be a little bit more tolerant and understanding. I can only wish I guess. 6:04 PM
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